We canceled our trip to Paris just days before we were supposed to leave, after a trip to the emergency room with my mom uncovered terminal Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer.
She died 24 days after the call to 911.
It's now been 5 months since she passed away.
The past 5 months and 24 days have been some of the most challenging in my life (on par with my recovery from a life-saving emergency hysterectomy after the birth of my son; worse than my own cancer diagnosis and treatment). Certainly, mostly, because of my mom's illness and death, but not entirely. It was that plus everything else happening through it all and on top of it (such as my John's second hip replacement surgery in December and my own medical issues).
It's been exhausting and overwhelming on every level – emotionally, physically, mentally. It has just been SO MUCH and without reprieve, one thing rolling into another.
But, I am starting to feel some of the weight lift – some relief. I can see daily life slowly falling back into place (even as we have construction going on in our house).
The five of us recently sat down and discussed not only the trip we canceled in October but the other trips we had penciled in for this year.
Just the thought of a trip to Paris was causing my anxiety to spike. I think my brain is drawing a connection between that trip and everything that happened. So, we agreed not to try to reschedule for this October but to consider it for 2025. (An aside, the trip insurance we purchased really made us jump through hoops and took quite a awhile but it did finally come through for us.)
As for the trips we had penciled in for 2024, I think I am ready to take on some travel and John seems ready to start planning in full-swing and getting things booked.
The idea for the first trip came from one of our kids who has had a long-standing dream to see a bioluminescent beach. It turns out there is one in Puerto Rico that is in season when we are available to travel! Now, we don't have great luck with traveling to see natural phenomenon (I still haven't seen the aurora borealis), but it is worth a try!
The second trip we had penciled in is partly to visit our family in California again (it's been more than 5 years) but, also, partly to have another shot at seeing Yosemite National Park (we had to divert in 2018 due to the wildfires).
And, we do have a third trip possibility later this year. It would be a trip with John's mom (the only of the kids' grandparents we haven't taken a family vacation with, yet) and we are eyeing a visit to Arches & Grand Canyon National Parks.
Here's to looking forward to good times ahead (with fingers crossed that life doesn't throw any other major challenges our way for a while).